Melanie and Tony. Day 7.

“There is nobility in blind loyalty!”

 

Melanie

1. Tell us about your time with your bae today.

We met up after work and got dinner at Cubby's and introduced him to the golden goodness that is their bread crumb mac and cheese. How is it that I ate it less than 6 hours ago but I still want more of it? I was pretty out of it at first and was in a confusing emotional funk (like I said, the emotions are always changing, people), but having some cheesy goodness eventually jump-started my metabolism and focus. Anywayyyy, after dinner we went to a devotional from his stake (which, it turns out, was also my old stake. I wonder how many times we were in the same place and never knew it....) with Tom Christofferson. I already knew I liked Tom and his perspectives, but it was really cool to get to be in a different setting than previous discussions. We kept finding people we randomly knew and talking to them, and I think it was the most I've introduced Tony as my boyfriend. Also, everyone asked how we met and then became quite fascinated in 30DB and that we've known each other (almost) a week. We talked more after about our different and similar thoughts on the fireside, and it's just always a great discussion with Tones.

2. CONGRATS! Day 7 is here. We’re so proud of you. In what ways do you see benefits from the TDB challenge so far?

[I'm gonna take a side note and say that there may have been a time previous when I judged too harshly a bae from season 1 that stopped filling out the logs (dear stranger, I apologize for negative thoughts you never knew I had towards you), but I get it. This is lots to do night after night. BUT I'M HERE WILLINGLY. If anything, it's helping me commit to a new habit every day for a whole month, not to mention committing to dating. I may just miss you, bae logs, after these 30 days are done.]

I think I've allowed myself to be in the moment more in dating. I'm not feeling so pressured to know exactly where I'm at all the time, cause I just don't know. I think it allows me to focus more on the positive traits Tony has, instead of always looking for problems and faults, which is my normal default. We also talked for a while about the Imaginary Ideal that I always compare my boyfriends to. Basically, its this unicorn of a man that is the amalgamation of all the best traits of any guy I've dated or had a crush on (or maybe met, or maybe seen in a movie). And let me tell you, this imaginary man is AMAZING. and always seems to have these perfect traits exactly where my current partner seems to be lacking (did I mention he's a shape-shifter? Yeah, shapeshifting unicorn of a man. Please remember, frightened reader, that this is in my imagination, a very elaborate and simultaneously chaotic place). So basically no man can ever meet up to this impossible standard, which unfortunately gets projected on too many an unsuspecting bystander. (remember how I said pre-mac and cheese Mel was kinda out of it? THIS is what we were talking about then. I tell you what, guys, mac keeps me grounded on planet Earth. Poor Tony, having to try and decipher meaning from this conversation). I can't tell yet if dating in a weird way has tricked my brain out of comparing to the unicorn-man, or if I'm just more aware of the times I'm doing it. But I still have like 24 days so I guess we'll see.

3. You’ve known your bae for 7 full days. Pop quiz. What is their drink of choice? What is their favorite food?

Readers. I know what you must be thinking. "Mel, you've known Tony a whole week! And you've eaten 4 meals together total! How could you not have discussed favorite foods and drinks?" And here's where I must shock you, sweet, dear ones. I don't know the answers at all. H*ck, I don't even know MY favorite food or drink (although, from the previous question, I think there is a serious contention that Cubby's Mac and Cheese may be high on the list. Wow, look at all the things we're learning together). We joked at dinner tonight that there is still SO much we don't know about each other. And there's LOTS of small talk subjects that we haven't addressed yet. Sorry we were so busy discussing the nuances of political discourse *adjusts monocle. (guys, I'm in a weird, tired mood tonight. I feel the need to just issue a blanket apology for all the weird that you're reading through. Remember I am a human and, like all of my species, sometimes do and say weird things. And apparently they are tightly condensed in this post tonight. Woof). 

4. What is your drink of choice and favorite food?

Oh. Clearly forgot this one was coming up. Uhhhhh. The state drink of North Dakota is Milk (I don't think they were allowed to make beer a state beverage. Does every state have a beverage?), so, to stay true to my motherland, I think I'm gonna go with a nice glass of whole milk. Ask my roommates, I go through lots of milk. If it has to be soda, Dr. Pepp gets me through most trials. I don't know who first ever came up with the question of favorite food, but I have beef (teehee) with them (not with you, 30DB team; it's not your fault this is a common question now). How am I supposed to pick one above another? Clearly I have commitment issues because just committing to a favorite food is taking paragraphs, imagine committing to a person! (The irony is not missed on me. Because I AM committed to a person. And am writing days and days worth of paragraphs on them). Alright guys. I don't have a favorite food. I like it all. But I LOVE making charcuterie boards *again adjusts monocle*, so if there's a way to slap it on a cutting board and serve it with crackers, I probably love it.

5. Tell us something funny that happened between you and your bae so far.

I still need to check in with Tony if he noticed this, but the night we were doing Jiujitsu (remember how he was frequently sitting on my stomach?) I kept farting. I'd roll him over my shoulder, and a (thankfully) stink-less but very audible fart would sneak out. Honestly I think this happened a couple times. AND YOU GUYS his face did not even register it. There were 3 other people in the room and the sound obviously came from me. But he didn't comment, his eyes didn't change, he didn't even raise an eyebrow. I simultaneously wondered if this is what maturity looks like while feeling terrified that I may not be able to date a man that doesn't let out at least a teasing smile when I rip one. Maybe he thought not commenting was the more respectful option, so I'll keep assessing what he does as he gets more comfortable with me. Don't worry, readers. I'll report back. (again, sweet sweet mom, I'm so sorry. I know you really tried so hard to raise me to be a lady and I still ended up writing almost 200 words describing farts. You're probably right, this may be the thing keeping me from getting married). Team. Get you a bae who will take you in all your weird moods and still keep dating you after you write some weird-A stuff on a public log. I mean, he has to keep dating me for the next 24 days. And technically he won't read this for another month. But there is nobility in blind loyalty!


 

Tony

1. Tell us about your time with your bae today.

We went to Cubby’s for dinner today. We were both a little worn down from the week and so our mental capacities were operating at about 45-50%. Once we got some food in us, we both got back up to the 75-80% range 

After dinner we went to a Fireside, put on by my stake, where we listened to Tom Christofferson, Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s brother. Tom told about his experience of being a gay man in the church. He told us about how he went on a mission and came back wondering, why, when he served faithfully, was he still gay. He assumed that if he was obedient, God would make it so that he wasn’t gay anymore.

He ended up marrying a woman in the temple and thought that would heal him, but found out that he was still, in fact gay. The marriage was annulled and he ended up asking to be excommunicated from the church. He later found a partner with whom he spent 15 years.

He started feeling like he should start going back to church, so he started attending a ward and occasionally his partner went with him. He said that he felt accepted and well received by the members of the ward. About 3 years ago, he got baptized again into the church.

He bore his testimony about the Savior and how he felt that throughout his journey he knows that God never left him. It is reassuring to know that no matter what someone is going through, God’s love is available to comfort and strengthen them.

2. CONGRATS! Day 7 is here. We’re so proud of you. In what ways do you see benefits from the TDB challenge so far?

I feel like this challenge is laying bare all of my weaknesses, shortcomings, and insecurities when it comes to relationships. Because we are required to fill out these daily logs, I am constantly analyzing my emotional and mental state after each interaction. While I think this may be overkill in a regular relationship, it is interesting to me to get this opportunity to explore exactly how I progress when in a new relationship. I think it has been very necessary for me to confront exactly what makes me vulnerable and where I need to improve when attempting to develop a healthy relationship. It has given me a lot to think about and even more to work on. For that, I am very grateful.

3. You’ve known your bae for 7 full days. Pop quiz. What is their drink of choice? What is their favorite food?

With how easy it is for Melanie and I to talk with each other, you would think that we would have gone through all the basic facts about each other. You would be wrong though! Apparently, we only like to dive right in to the big stuff 

That being said, I know that when we had our movie night Wednesday, she brought her water bottle…so for this week, I think her drink of choice is sweet, sweet water! We went to Chipotle for dinner and we both had leftovers. She texted me the next day and said that the leftovers were absolutely amazing—better than the day before! So, for this week, I think her favorite food has been leftover Chipotle.

 

4. Also, what is your drink of choice and favorite food?

I love the unbelievable quenching power of H to the O. It not only hydrates my parched body, but it satiates my very soul!

Top choice for breakfast: Ham, cheese, and green pepper omelet

Top choice for lunch: Turkey sandwich on wheat with peppercorn mustard

Top choice for dinner: Sushi  or grilled chicken and Brussels sprouts or steak and chimichurri

5. Tell us something funny that happened between you and your bae so far.

I honestly am constantly laughing with her. We both love to make little jokes while talking about normal stuff and so we always seem to have scattered laughter throughout our conversation. She is honestly hilarious! So, while there isn’t one specific event that jumps out at me, I would honestly say that most of the last 7 days have been pretty entertaining.

Now that being said, I am a little late with filling in this log, and Melanie told me what she put for this question on her end… I literally had ZERO idea that she was farting on me during Jiu-Jitsu 

Just kidding, she said that she never farted ON me, just near me. So much better  Apparently, they were really loud, so she was surprised that I didn’t say anything. She was grateful that they were odorless, because if they weren’t I really would have given her a hard time  And I seriously didn’t even know—not even a whiff (gross pun intended)!

I did notice that after we did each move, she was a little red-faced, but I honestly thought that that was because she was trying something new and it was pushing her outside her comfort zone. NOPE! She was farting. On me.  That’s muh girl! So proud