Melanie and Tony. Day 5.

“It’s not love yet, so calm down people!”

 

Melanie

1. Tell us about today. How is your bae doing?

Today I came down to Tony's and we talked about growing up and things that were good as well as things that were hard. We went and got dinner and watched The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Tony hadn't seen it, so it was fun to see all his first-time reactions. 10/10 recommend that movie. I love every time I watch it. Tony seems to be doing great. I asked what's been hardest for him so far and he said that he's wanted to kiss me since day one but is trying to not rush it (especially because Jordan told us not to rush). So if that's the most difficult thing, I think he's fine. He's comfortable when we talk and seems happy. ALSO his roommate has this gorgeous wolf-like dog who is the literal sweetest and I got to meet her tonight. So that was delightful and if she weren't so huge I would try and steal her. As it is, I think it would be a little obvious if I tried to pick her up and carry away. Cause she's a wolf.


2. Scale from 1-10 how would you rate your chemistry?

I mean. We watched a movie that was funny and talked about lots of personal stuff and cuddled so......alright fine, we kissed! So our chemistry is pretty good!


3. How has your experience thus far been different from your expectations?

In what ways were you correct? Oh geeze. I was NOT prepared for the emotions to be so all over the place. I was telling a close friend today that I feel like my emotions shift every 3-6 hours, and there's no way to prepare for that. It's like doing a relationship on hyperspeed.

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I did feel mostly prepared for how much of a time commitment it is. Seeing a boyfriend basically every day is very different from having no real social obligations before. But it has been nice to feel like I still have some of my own time. Though, I've had to book out seeing some friends a week in advance. I'm definitely not usually that organized. I can start to feel some relationships getting a little less close as I have less time to invest in them, and I don't love that. Hopefully nothing gets too distant in 30 days. I guess that always happens in dating though.

4. Other thoughts?

I've been learning some things about trying to just be patient with my constantly changing emotions. Because there are 30 days, I don't have to have anything decided...there's 25 more days to this and I'm sure my emotions will just keep changing and changing even more. And I think that's more true in other dating relationships, I just put a pressure on myself. Also, just because Tony isn't normally who I pursue or this isn't what I normally do in dating doesn't mean it can't be a good relationship. No offense, previous boyfriends, but if I couldn't get it to work out with you, maybe I do need to do something very different. It's worth trying it at least. Lastly, I think I sometimes define my relationship by the current emotion I'm feeling: if I feel uncomfortable, it must be because this is an uncomfortable relationship, I should get out! If I feel anxious, that must be because this is a bad relationship for me! But with my emotions changing so quickly, I'm learning that those don't actually define my relationship. Still trying to figure out what does define it. I've liked doing this every day, so I'm gonna keep it up. Tony is very self aware and has earned his emotional maturity. So friends, find you a bae that's willing to invest in their emotional health and work through the hard things everyone goes through. Yes, that means going to therapy. Find you a bae who goes or is willing to go to therapy!

5. What are your top 5 most listened to songs this week?

Pretttttty random 1. Harmony Hall- Vampire Weekend 2. The Dirt- Tor Miller 3. Gloria- Henry Jamison 4. The Book of Love- Peter Gabriel 5. Woman- Mumford and Sons

 

Tony

1.  Tell us about today. How is your bae doing?

Today we talked for an hour or so before watching a hilarious movie. We talked about how we are feeling about everything up to this point. It was good to hear her perspective, but we both agreed that we don’t want to stop getting to know each other (it has only been 5 days after all 😂). I learned about what it was like to grow up in North Dakota being the only LDS member among her friends. We also talked about a lot of personal stuff and connected on a much deeper level.

I also learned that I am definitely developing feelings for her faster than she is developing feelings for me. On one hand, this makes me feel a bit more vulnerable than I would like. On the other hand, this is nature of human connection. We move at different speeds and connect in different ways. So, with that in mind, I am going to be patient and see what happens.

2.  Scale from 1-10 how would you rate your chemistry?

I feel like I am at a 9. I definitely have to pace myself, but it is so hard! However, there were definitely sparks during the movie when we cuddled 💏 🎇 😏🔥🔥💃🏼So I can’t complain. 😂 😂

3.  How has your experience thus far been different from your expectations? In what ways were you correct?

I knew 100% that I would have a good time with this. I was planning to have an enjoyable time with this. I didn’t expect Melanie and I to have so much in common and to have similar feelings about different topics. And, honestly, I didn’t expect to like her this quickly. She was a complete stranger, after all. But I have been pleasantly surprised with how my feelings have developed for her. It’s not love yet, so calm down people! But it is a deep admiration, infatuation, and respect that is growing every day.

4. Other thoughts?

Every day that I spend with Melanie I am more and more taken in. She is an amazing woman. She is intelligent, compassionate, and understanding. Plus, she is very attractive. Like a lot of attractive. Like the quantity of attractive that she possesses is a lot. So…I’m a happy man RN!

5. What are your top 5 most listened to songs this week?

I have been on an Ed Sheeran kick lately:

1)    Photograph

2)    Thinking out Loud

3)    This

4)    Perfect

5)    Kiss Me