Melanie and Tony. Day 11.

“We took solace in the fact that at least we are together in this anxiety.”

 

Melanie

1. Tell us about your day.

Today felt busy at work. I didn't have much down time and kept seeming to get behind. This was another not-in-person night with Tony, so I called after work on my way to see a movie with a friend. I was happy to talk to him and was excited to share my frustrations and happy thoughts. Even though it was only like a 30 minute phone call, I liked that we were able to talk about real things and kinda edge on philosophical. We joked about our similarity of people pleasing and trying to take care of too many people's emotions; we wonder if we'll ever be able to let go of that with each other. I felt bad that I was distracted at the end of the call cause I'd met with my friend. I had a relatively disappointing burger, then watched Endgame. Tony really likes Marvel movies, so even though I tore into them pretty hard last night, he was excited for me to see this one. I liked it better than some of the others, which fit what he'd suspected.

2. What is something that you want to personally work on this week for your bae?

I'm consciously working hard to share more sincere parts of myself with him, even if they aren't pleasant things to share. Like tonight, I said I'm kinda nervous about meeting his best friends this weekend. Part of me is afraid they won't like me, and the other part of me is afraid they will like me too much. It was weird to be so vulnerable while driving in the car (and of course paying close attention to my surroundings and using bluetooth at all times), but it was good to say it and have him understand.

3. What was your favorite TV show or movie growing up?

We didn't have cable, so that leaves Arthur for fav TV show (but no regrets, cause that ish is classic). I have always loved movies, but since I was 18 months old, I've been quoting them. I'd seriously go up to a person in my family, set my hand on their arm, and either wait for them or prompt them to say the line "ouch, that hurts!" from Beauty and the Beast. I'd proceed with "well if you'd hold still this wouldn't hurt so much," and on and on until the final "by the way, thank you for saving my life." So I don't know if I had a favorite, but we'll chalk it up to Beauty and the Beast, cause it's the first scene I memorized.

4. What did you learn about your bae today?

I learned his mom had to give him warnings in high school to not take on all the emotions of his friends. He was close with lots of girls, and sometimes he would take on the stress of their drama.

5. 5 emojis that encapsulate your day today

‍😢🙅‍♀️🌊🍔movie




 

Tony

1. Tell us about your day.

2. What is something that you want to personally work on this week for your bae?

Since we are going to California this weekend, I really want to focus on finding ways to serve her. We have done a really good job this last week of getting to know each other through two of the Five Love Languages: Quality Time and Physical Touch. 😏 Now I want to shift to building other aspects of our relationship through Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Gifts.

I am also going to focus more on being transparent with my emotions, especially letting her know when I am working through specific feelings or thoughts internally. I just want to keep her in the loop with what I am experiencing.

3. What was your favorite TV show or movie growing up?

My favorite TV show when I was a kid was Spiderman—the old cartoon version 😂 I use to watch it every day after school.

clip_image001.gif

One of my favorite movies when I was in High School was Dead Poet’s Society. Soooo good!

clip_image003.gif
clip_image005.gif

4. What did you learn about your bae today?

I learned that Melanie and I are basically the same person when it comes to our emotions. We talked about how we both are experiencing some anxiety when it comes to meeting new people in the other person’s life. Part of the reason for this anxiety is that we are worried that if things don’t work out, then we will have a lot more people who we will disappoint. We took solace in the fact that at least we are together in this anxiety 😂

I also learned that she is incredibly perceptive. I mean, I already knew this, but it was reaffirmed to me again today. I was having a really rough day yesterday and she picked up on it when we were FaceTiming. I tried to put on a happy face, but she was able to see through it. I am realizing more and more that I can’t really hide any of my emotions from her because she is going to be able to see through my guise. It is really refreshing. I know some people might not like that, but I think I actually prefer it. Because sometimes I don’t even know that I am acting off, but then she asks me about it, and I am able to vocalize what I am feeling. Even if the vocalization is just to let her know that I have some things I am working through. It is just good to know that she will help me recognize and work through my stuff, if needed.

5. 5 emojis that encapsulate your day today

😊😂😊😂😏