Jake and Emily. Day 1.

"Hey, uh... this is your boyfriend, Jake.”

 
IMG_9880 - Emily Holmgren.jpeg
 
 

Jake

Tell us about today!

I was feeling good this morning.  When Kylie texted me this morning with the details of the date, the reality of what I was about to do sunk in and I really started to stress about it. And the date wasn't until 9:15pm!  The unknown and mystery was kind of nerve racking. So I worked really hard to just distract myself until then. I did pretty well most of the day, but every once in a while I would think about it and freak out again.  I was everywhere from "This is the most absurd thing I have ever done in my life" to "I might actually feel excited about this." The thing I was most stressed about was the first meeting. Now that that's over I feel much better.

What was your first impression of Emily?

I called Emily as soon as Kylie sent me her number (at 9:13 🙄).  Just hearing the way she spoke on the phone made me feel better about the whole thing.  She turned out to be engaging and friendly and easy to talk to. I felt comfortable around her right off the bat.  She is attractive. Good first impression! She is a bit older than the girls I would typically go after, but thats okay!

Tell us about the date!

We met up at Hatch's Chocolate.  We had ice cream cones. The conversation was good.  We went over the standard get to know you stuff. We talked about why we decided to do Thirty Day Bae.  We talked about date ideas. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it was going to be. The date definitely had a different tone than other dates I have been on.  My focus switched from "Am I interested? Is she interested?" to "How can we make this thing work?" Probably a very valuable perspective switch. It was honestly nice.  It's hard to say if I would be interested in Emily in any other circumstance since I'm approaching this with such a different perspective, but it doesn't matter and I'm not going to put a whole lot of thought into it.  Also, I'm not going to stress about whether or not she is interested. It was nice to start planning future dates without being concerned about all that.

Switching out of Thirty Day Bae mode, I probably would have been on the fence about the whole thing.  There was nothing about the date that blew me away necessarily, a good date, but not love at first sight or anything. I may have gone on another date with her if she reached out to me or implied that she wanted to.  If not, I may have just let the days pass by, half intending to ask her out again. Nothing against Emily, that's just a typical pattern for me.

What did you learn about yourself?

Leading up to this date, I thought a lot about what would make this month go well.  It brought clarity to me on what was actually important in a dating relationship.

I came to the conclusion that if she was a committed person with good communication skills, then we could probably work out most differences.  Getting along with her would be more important than being attracted to her. (I guess it might get boring to just look at each other for a month, or something...).

On a scale from 1-10 How would you rate your date tonight.

Seven. I think the thing that made this date good was the fact that we were both fully invested in the date.  We immediately had things in common due to the nature of Thirty Day Bae. It also helped that we had a common goal (dating each other).  And in contrast to the pre-date stress, the date was incredibly nice.

On a scale from 1-10 how positively do you feel about your relationship at this point?

Eight. There is a lot of motivation for both of us to get along and get to know each other.  She seems to be easy to talk to. I don't have a whole lot to go off of, but I generally feel like we are going to get along.

Other thoughts?

This will be a fun month!  I'm excited for what I will learn.  Despite the inevitable stress of the whole thing, I'm inclined to believe that this method of dating has a lot of value.


Emily

Tell us about today!

Yeah.

So, I’ve been just a tad anxious the last few days.

I think I’ve been:

  • 15% concerned about the thought of being matched with a serial killer

  • 15% concerned about the thought of him worrying if I’m a serial killer

  • 30% concerned about us not clicking. This could be a LONG month together.

I think 40% is left. Am I doing the math right? It's midnight and ain't nobody got time to pull out a calculator. Ok, yeah. Simple arithmetic. 40% is right.

So what’s going on with that remaining 40%?

Basically, this thing is nuts. There’s a lot of unknowns here. And... I’ll just go ahead and admit that I was actively dating up until last night. I’m not sure how to mentally handle putting other things on hold, or if I even should. Life has been trucking along pretty well.

That being said, I think I did a pretty good job of distracting myself today. I was in beast mode at work and didn't have a lot of time to think about tonight.

Then work wrapped up and I got a little nervous driving over to our date spot.

I got even more nervous when I saw an unknown number pop up on my caller ID... (dun dun dun!)

Just to reiterate: This is nuts.

What was your first impression of Jake?

I’m not sure I was seeing fireworks or feeling the illustrious “spark", but I think he's an ideal person to be in this setup with. He's positive, fun, friendly, and it seems like he wants to be all-in. It seems like he’s outwardly focused and wants others to be happy.  I just liked his overall vibe. If he was disappointed in being lined up with me, he didn't show it. So that made me feel good.

He seems like a good conversationalist. I like that he shares things about himself without it being a monologue. I like that he asks questions, but doesn’t go into interviewer mode (I have a really bad habit of doing that. My only defense is that it’s my job in real life. I’m hard wired to be annoying).

I'm not sure I have a "type" physically, but if I do, I think he’s right there. If I saw him randomly on the street or at the grocery store, I'd be into it.

Oh…

Maybe I shouldn't admit this… but I did some sleuthing ahead of time with my coworkers. We looked at Davi's recently added Facebook friends on the off-chance she recently added my guy. It looked like she added 5 or 6 guys over the last week. When my co-worker Kathi saw Jake, she was like "guaranteed it's him. Guaranteed." The work friends unanimously voted for Jake. I voted for Jake. We were all in favor of Jake.

(Yeah, yeah... just give yourselves a little pat on the back, matchmakers. Whatever).

Tell us about the date!

Kylie sent names and phone numbers two minutes before we were supposed to meet so we could coordinate finding one another.

Just like Kylie instructed, he called exactly at 9:13 PM. He kind of laughed and said "Hey, uh... this is your boyfriend, Jake!" I laughed too and let him know I was running a couple minutes late.

He sounded nice and like he had a sense of humor. All good things. I started to feel some relief and chilled out.

But then I realized I was kind of lost.

And then the car behind me started honking.

And I got all awkward on the phone.

And I got feeling nervous again.

So I eventually made it to Hatch Family Chocolates. I got out of my car and saw a guy by himself looking around, so I figured it was him.

I said his name. He looked up. Bae spotted.

I love it when I actually nail social cues.

We hugged and walked inside. He said he was excited and anxious. I said the same. We just kept looking at one another and laughing. This is such a weird thing to do.  I could tell he was making an effort to help me feel comfortable which was nice.

Kylie arranged for us to get hot chocolate, but we were both in the mood for ice-cream. So, ice-cream it was! (We’re already breaking protocol. #rebels)

We sat down and we were both like "Sooo, how's your life been?"

It was kind of fun to have an immediate bond talking about why the heck we signed up for this thing. We then we got the basics out of the way: occupation, hometown, schooling. He has a real job and a master's in biomedical engineering (I think that's what it was...). There’s a good chance he’s smart and has his life together.

That conversation lasted about 5 minutes before we got back to talking about our Baeship. We talked about our schedules and things we could do together the next few weeks.

His ideas: A mystery dinner on Halloween, Friendsgiving, fusion dancing (I don’t really understand what that is, but we’ll give it a go!)

My ideas:  I actually didn't talk much about my ideas, so he probably thinks I'm a big boring loser. But, I have ideas, Jake...  oh the ideas! ("Siri, remind me to think of some date ideas")

We then put our info in one another's phones - address, email, birthday, etc. He put our anniversary as 10/19/18. Which was kind of funny and awesome.  

He asked if there was anything he could do to make this a good experience for me (What a classy and cool guy. Seriously). We both agreed to stay positive and give it our all, but we should keep the communication honest with what we were experiencing.

The conversation started to wind down after about an hour and he asked if I wanted to go on a walk.

I think we were both feeling a little overwhelmed (at least I was), so I suggested we call it a night and decompress since we have 29 more days together.

We hugged goodbye and we said something along the lines of "cheers to our adventure."

Awkward moments outside of the general awkwardness of being on the ultimate blind date:

  • Uh, I kept making serial killer jokes which was probably weird.

  • And, I told him my nickname growing up was Jake. He kind of laughed. Kind of.

  • I had a hunch he’s a bit younger than me, and I wondered if he was trying to figure out the age difference too. So I decided to put my birth year in his phone so he didn’t have to guess. We’ll see how that goes…

  • I didn't totally feel like myself. I think I’ll get in my groove though. I think I did pretty well considering this is an intense situation.

What did you learn about yourself?

  1. There’s a chance I didn’t think through this as much as I should have.

  2. I tried a hipster flower flavored ice-cream just out of curiosity. I was expecting it to be weird... and it was weird. But it was actually so good too. Maybe some foreshadowing for our relationship? Anyway, I learned I like weird hipster flower flavored ice-cream.

On a scale from 1-10 How would you rate your date tonight.

Eight. I wasn't seeing fireworks or feeling "the spark", but I think he's an ideal person to be in this setup with. He's positive, fun, creative, a good conversationalist, and wants to be all-in. So that made the date a good one.

On a scale from 1-10 how positively do you feel about your relationship at this point?

Six. I'm very optimistic that we're going to have a great 30 days together (I'd rate that as an 8).

I’m not sure how optimistic I am that this would go past 30 days. I’d maybe give that a 4. So I'd round out my overall optimism to a 6.

Other thoughts?

My overarching thought is that I can see why you matched us. He just seems like a quality human being and I'm excited to get to know him.

Neither one of us like selfies... but we'll maybe try harder to get some.