Brian and Sarah. Day 14.

“I basically got dumped tonight.”

 
 
07839866-7FF7-409E-A0A6-CF5EA8C340BF - Sarah Haymore.jpeg
 
 
 

Brian

Tell us about today!

We went to dinner tonight, which happened to be right down the street from my old high school. So we went there and we showed each other old/embarrassing photos from our social media!

What did you learn about them? What did you learn about yourself?

I learned tonight that she used to have a little potty mouth in 9th grade!

On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your time together today?

Eight. Soo about tonight.. we had a pretty intense conversation. After all the fun and games were over, we talked about where we saw things going and we were both very honest with each other. Kudos to Sarah for bringing it up, but she felt that she was very confident this “dating” relationship would not go past the 30 days (I mean I felt it too, she just happened to say it first..😒).

So we had a really open conversation about why she (we😒) felt that way and what our next steps were going to be. Do we end the 30 day experiment? Do we keep on trying? We both understood that the way things were going wasn’t healthy for us. We were stressed and anxious all the time. I think he root of my feelings stemmed from the fact I felt she “had” to do things with me, rather than “wanted” to do things with me. And that doesn’t feel good for any of the parties involved.

As for why it isn’t working out, I think we are maybe just too similar.. I’m going to steal Sarah’s words, but it felt like “we are dating ourselves”. We have very similar interests and think very similarly about things. I think it honestly just lacked some conflict to make things more interesting.

We both have great respect for each other and are super grateful for the lessons we’ve learned together so far, but definitely need to make some changes. So we are going to continue the 30 days, but our focus is on helping each other become better people. We are going to set personal development goals and share them with each other and hold each other accountable. We both feel very good about this decision. It’s the most peaceful I’ve felt since this whole experiment started, which is a good sign that we made the right decision.

On a scale from 1-10 how positively do you feel about your relationship at this point?

Eight. I know it’s not romantic and I basically got dumped tonight, but she let me down easy:) and I feel really good about where we stand with each other and how we can help each other! I’m proud of the effort we’ve put into it!

On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your chemistry with him/her?

Six.

Sarah

Tell us about today!

We met up and ate dinner at Texas Roadhouse and then we drove up to his old high school and drove around. He made a flower for me out of a napkin.

We parked the car and went through all our old embarrassing Facebook photos from high school and shared a bunch of memories. He showed me where his friend's houses were, where they sat during lunch in the cafeteria, the stairs him and his friends hung out at, etc. It was cool to hear all of his high school stories. He shared some stories of pranks. His poor seminary teacher haha. We drove all around the school and then parked out by the cafeteria and talked a lot about high school and how it was like for us.

Afterwards I drove back to where we were parked at Texas Roadhouse. I actually tried to end things with him tonight. I didn't feel comfortable doing the 30 Day Bae experiment anymore, especially after thinking about the conversation we had earlier that week. I was worried about our relationship becoming unhealthy since we knew it wasn't going to progress more than it already had. Something I have done in past relationships is not end them when I didn't feel right about them anymore. I would ignore those feelings since I cared about them and ultimately those relationships became unhealthy and a little messy, but could have been prevented if I didn't ignore those initial feelings at first. I didn't want the same thing to happen because I feel like we do have a healthy relationship and a strong friendship.

After talking about it more, we decided that even if a romantic relationship isn't pursued, we can still learn a lot from each other during the last weeks. We decided to focus on setting personal goals and helping each other work on those goals. Honestly, after this conversation, I've felt the best I have this whole time.

What did you learn about them? What did you learn about yourself?

He was a butt in high school to some of his teachers haha, little troublemaker.

On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your time together today?

Eight, We shared a lot of funny pictures and we had a very good and productive conversation afterwards about setting goals and supporting each other in those goals.

On a scale from 1-10 how positively do you feel about your relationship at this point?

Six.

On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your chemistry with him/her?

Six.