Alicia and Brice. Day 13.

“I am so up, down, up, down, up, down.“

Sponsored date by Five Sushi Brothers and Heart and Seoul Karaoke

 
 
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Alicia

1. What did you do with your bae today?

We went up to Salt Lake to meet all the other baes and even were surprised by the TDB team!! It was such a blast! We did karaoke at Heart and Seoul and had sushi from Five Bros Sushi. All of it was fantastic and I highly recommend it. On the way up, Brice was saying how he hasn't ever had sushi and doesn't really do karaoke and he even said that tonight was a lot more fun than he expected. He even liked the sushi! Can you believe he went 29 years thinking he didn't like sushi and realized he does? Also, we went to the Cheesecake Factory after, which Brice has never had. So at least TDB has brought him the experience of sushi and overpriced cheesecake.

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On the drive up there, Brice and I talked about his life ambitions. He wants to start a university! I mean, there's a lot more to it, but that's the very basic summary. It was enjoyable learning more about him. Also, he knew in 5th grade that he wanted a PhD! I don't think I even really knew what a PhD was until I was like 15. Actually, I feel like I didn't fully understand what a PhD was until I was admitted to a PhD program. The drive back it was dark and rainy and I was tired, so we didn't talk too much. I did bring up how in relationship coaching he said that he tries to connect with me, but I usually miss it. I asked him how he tries to connect, because I really want to be aware of those moments, so that I can take the opportunity to connect. He said he didn't have any specific examples, but said it was small moments that we are just on different pages about. 🤷🏼‍♀️


2. Scale from 1-10 how positively do you feel about your relationship at this point?

I am so up, down, up, down, up, down. I am feeling burnt out on life right now. I know there are a ton of factors playing into my burnout and I think part of it is not feeling very secure in this relationship. I feel like I'm really trying, but maybe I'm not. I dunno. Just feels like there is something missing, but I can't really put a finger on what it is is. So I guess a 5.5.

 

3. Look up your bae’s Myers Briggs. Do you feel this accurately describes your bae? In what way?

I used to be a little bit of Myers Briggs (MBTI) skeptic, but the 16 personalities website is pretty cool! Brice is an ENTJ or as the website terms it, "a Commander." Some of the things written on the website have almost come out word for word of Brice's mouth when he talks about himself. From the website, he is a natural born leader; this makes sense as he has worked as a leader for most of his jobs. The website even says how Commanders are dominant, relentless, and unforgiving when buying a car, which Brice has talked about this and how his brother was uncomfortable with how demanding Brice seemed. Commanders are powerhouses and have high goals, which seems to explain Brice.

The ways that Brice's personality type may clash with me, is that emotional expression is not a strength for Commanders. Brice has said that he is more logical and that he is able to overcome and disregard emotions that don't help him. He said he struggles when people make choices based off of emotion. There are a few things I remember about Brice from the compatibility interview and one of those is that he says his weakness is judging people quickly, which makes sense with his MBTI. These two things could be seen as pretty different from my ESFJ self.

 

4. What do you want to do different looking forward?

I feel like I often resort to just saying, "communicate," but I do feel like Brice and I need to work on that. Last night I said if he found any free time in the next four days, we could do a quick lunch or something. It was hard to read his response in person, because honestly it seemed kind of like a negative response, but when I texted him he said we could probably work something out. I tried communicating! But also, after looking at his MBTI, I wonder if I am not direct enough in my communication for him. 

 

Brice

1. What did you do with your bae today?

We had a triple date with the rest of the baes at Five Sushi Brothers and Heart & Seoul Karaoke in Salt Lake. Members of the TDB team showed up, too, so that was fun! I was excited to meet the other baes and get to know them better, but I was worried about the sushi and karaoke. You see, I've never had sushi before, because I don't like fish. Also, I don't do karaoke. So I wasn't sure about this whole thing. I went into it with an open mind though. Turns out, I actually like sushi. It was delicious. Also, karaoke isn't that bad. I sang a few songs (never by myself though ha) and we all just had a blast! All the baes went to the Cheesecake Factory afterwards and got some cheesecake. A nice end to the night.

2. Scale from 1-10 how positively do you feel about your relationship at this point?

1 being super negative, 5 being neutral, and 10 being super positive? I'd say I'm at a 6. I feel like we're able to have open and honest communication. But I still feel like some things are a little forced. Last night was pretty fun and relaxing though, so I'm hoping for more experiences like that throughout the rest of the time.

3. Look up your bae’s Myers Briggs. Do you feel this accurately describes your bae? In what way?

So Alicia is an ESFJ. I do think it describes her well.. For example, it says "Consuls truly enjoy hearing about their friends' relationships and activities, remembering little details and always standing ready to talk about things out with warmth and sensitivity. If things aren't going right, or there's tension in the room, Consuls pick up on it and try to restore harmony and stability to the group." Alicia is a therapist so it makes sense that this part fits. Also, I've noticed the attention she pays to things I say that she'll bring up later. It surprises me because I thought it was of little consequence, but she remembered it. I don't know that she's as social and outgoing as the description makes her seem. She definitely seems to like being around people, but it doesn't seem like she needs to be the focus or center of attention.

I looked at the romantic relationships part of their personality and it also seems to fit Alicia well. She's talked about how she's sacrificed who she is in relationships before in order to make the other person happy. The site says consuls "compromise their own principles and values in exchange for their partner's approval." I haven't seen that much, but according to Alicia, that's been a trend in the past.

4. What do you want to do different looking forward?

Well, I'm in charge of planning our next date, so I want to make sure that it's something enjoyable for both of us, but also puts me in my element. I get kinda nervous/shy when I'm in new settings and TDB is definitely a new setting even though it's been 2 weeks. So I feel like if we did something that is a little more comfortable for me, then we can have a better time.