Meet Jake and Emily

 
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Meet Jake

Tell us about yourself:

 My name is Jake.  I’m a boy.  I’m 27.  I spend my days pushing buttons on a computer in a cubicle.  I managed to find someone to pay me to do that, by the way.  It’s a good gig.  I spend my evenings eating food, bouldering, and singing and playing the piano.  I spend my nights sleeping. 

 I’m a fan of acronyms and shortening words that don’t need to be as long as they are.  In short, I’m all about efficiency.  

 In an ideal world, there would always be leftovers in the fridge. I always set two alarms every morning, even on weekends, and they are always six minutes apart.  My favorite kind of shoes are the kind that you don’t have to tie because then they are easy to take off, and I like taking my shoes off.  I like to eat my pineapple with cinnamon on it. 

What motivated you to apply? 

One of my friends sent a group text out with a link to the Thirty Day Bae application.  We all made fun of it and said it sounded ridiculous…  Then we all proceeded to go secretly apply.  

I applied because I have a lot of questions about dating, and I saw this as an opportunity to learn some things.  How important is chemistry and attraction in a relationship?  Can two people who are a good match on paper develop chemistry even if they don’t initially like each other?  Essentially, I wanted to know if I could make my feelings follow my decisions instead of having my decisions follow my feelings. 

 I loved the idea of having extremely clear expectations for a relationship.  I was also interested in seeing how commitment would change the way I got to know someone.  I had a feeling we would be much more invested in getting to know each other than if we were just casually dating. 

 Really, I was just excited to learn whatever the experience would teach me.

What is wrong with dating today?

I think that depends on who you ask.  “No one goes on dates anymore”. “We are overloaded with too many choices”.  “We are afraid of failure, rejection, divorce”.  Honestly, I don’t know.  People write books on this subject.  Obviously, the system isn’t completely broken.  People are out there getting married left and right like its nothing.  

I do believe that very few people know what they actually want out of a relationship and what would actually make them happy in the long run, myself included.  And even when we do know, we don’t always pursue those things.  So often there seems to be a disconnect between what we want and what we want to want.  It complicates things.

On top of that people are incredibly complex and deep.  I wonder if the things that would make us most attracted to each other are actually the things that take the longest time to discover.  And we make decisions about who to date after a glance, or at best, a few casual dates.

There is also a fear to settle.  The person we are dating is never perfect and we are constantly plagued with the “What if?” question.  “What if there is someone out there that is better for me?”  And I suppose when we are so concerned about finding our one and true eternal love, these are natural thoughts to be having.

Meet Emily

Tell us about yourself:

Female, 31, Ravenclaw, Middle Child, ENFJ. Commonly mistaken for Beyonce. 

I frequently daydream about being recruited for the proposed U.S. Space Force program. My love languages are breakfast burritos, dark humor, and a good Spotify playlist. I've sung karaoke with ABBA holograms. I’ve been told I laugh in my sleep. Marital status: single (obviously).

What motivated you to apply?

  1. Peer pressure. “This sounds like a train wreck just waiting to happen. You have to do it.” –Everyone

  2. Curiosity. I’m a sucker for new adventures and the occasional social experiment. This could be a weird one to tell the grandkids.

  3. Growth. I’ve formed a bad habit of keeping one foot out the door during the early stages of dating. I’d like to extend a sincere public apology to anyone who has tried to date me recently. Yeah...not good. Extreme commitment could be good for me.

  4. Blind optimism I have good vibes about the matchmaking team and feel like they'd have my back. It also seems like there’s some sort of social science involved here. This could be a really horrible decision, a somewhat horrible decision, or maybe... just, maybe... it might turn out ok.

What is wrong with dating today?

What Jake said. I have been staring at my computer for over 30 minutes trying to sum up my thoughts, and he nailed it. It seems like vulnerability, self-awareness, cooling it on dating apps, and a little bit of dumb luck can get you far.


 
Jake and EmilyDavi Johnson